


Friends are the Strongest Families

by pomeranian7178



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Deaf/HoH Sirius Black, Disabled Character, Disabled Remus, F/M, M/M, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-04 21:09:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14028774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomeranian7178/pseuds/pomeranian7178
Summary: James is crushing on Lily, but he's too busy teaming up with Peter to get Sirius and Remus together to notice that Lily likes him back. Sirius is crazy about Remus, but he's too preoccupied with trying to escape his abusive family to notice that Remus is obviously interested. Remus has limited mobility, Sirius is deaf, and almost everyone has anxiety of some sort. A lot of the marauders being friends and plenty of people being oblivious to flirting. Mostly Wolfstar.





	1. Chapter 1

Remus was itching to go back to Gryffindor tower. The full moon was the least of his worries, as Madam Pomfrey refused to believe. Every month, she would help him back to the castle, and force him to spend the day in the hospital wing. Every month, Remus would remind her the transformation wasn’t so painful. She assumed he was referring to the lack of most feeling below his waist, but mostly, he was referring to his friends, who since becoming animagi, had eased his anxiety about transformations. They kept him company, and even in wolf form, he was happier at full moon time. But Madam Pomfrey couldn’t know about James, Sirius, and Peter’s illegal adventurings, so Remus allowed her to think the pain he referenced was physical.  
Finally, Pomfrey agreed to let Remus go at dinner time. It had been ages since Remus was allowed to eat in the Great Hall the day after a full moon. Since his first year, she had been keeping him later and later in the day after full moons, sometimes overnight. She used the pretense of his transformations, but Remus knew she worried for him in more ways than one. He didn’t begrudge her this; he appreciated her motherly care. But still, he was anxious to get back to his friends. Even though the others had gone to such lengths to be able to stick by him during the full moons, Remus was worried he would scare his friends away. He had never had such solid friendships, and totally baseless as it was, Remus was terrified they all secretly hated him. Or worse, they kept him around for pity’s sake. Pity was the worst thing someone could feel for him, Remus thought. Because of his insecurities, Remus was most deeply afraid that if he wasn’t with his friends, they might decide he wasn’t a crucial member of the group. They might leave. And so it was, the morning after each full moon, Remus would find himself begging to be released from the hospital wing. He’d shove absurd amounts of chocolate into his face in front of Madam Pomfrey, he’d show how skilled he was at transferring himself to his wheelchair using his crutches and without help; he’d do anything he could to counter her excuses for keeping him. And finally, on this blustery October day in his fifth year, Madam Pomfrey couldn’t argue with him any longer, and released him to his friends for dinner.  
When Remus rolled up to his usual spot at the Gryffindor table, next to Sirius and across from Peter and James, James nearly choked with shock, and Peter looked worried. “You’re not dying, Remus?” Peter asked softly.  
“Dying?” Remus inquired. “I’m out early. I’d thought that meant the opposite?”  
“Maybe Madam P wants you to have time to say your good-byes, and all.” Peter said grimly.  
“Relax, Wormtail. If Moony was dying, he sure as hell wouldn’t waste his last supper on you.” Sirius teased.  
“I dunno, Pad. It’s possible old Poppy is soft, maybe Moony’s dying and she hasn’t had the heart to tell him. How are you feeling, Rem?” James had adopted a mock tone of concern.  
“Quite spritely, actually. Maybe I’ll get up and walk around without crutches. Scare Snivellus to death and you lot will have to find a new target,” Remus mused.  
“Mm. Last burst of energy, that’s a sign, mate. My gran was bedridden for a year. Got up and went to kiss my gramps one afternoon, kicked the bucket within the hour.” James was having trouble keeping a straight face. For all his trickster reputation, James was usually the one to give them away. ‘Hard to gain the reputation if you never get caught’ Sirius would say charitably.  
“Right, I’ll let you know if I get the urge to kiss your gramps, Prongs.” At this, Peter laughed, looking considerably more relaxed. Remus, too, felt more at ease, having fit into conversation with his friends so smoothly. Seeing them glad to have him back would always put his anxieties at bay after a full moon, and they’d usually remain dormant for the month. Remus was lucky in that respect. Peter was constantly anxious about everything, and Sirius behind his bad boy reputation was highly socially anxious. Having an abusive family would do that to a person. James was, for the most part, anxiety free. The most self-assured, the others sometimes felt like a band of misfits taken under the wing of the confident jock, despite knowing him to be a giant nerd and extreme softy. But that didn’t stop the rest of the school from seeing James as an arrogant toe rag; an image James did little to counter. Privately, Remus thought he only kept the image up so his friends would feel protected. And although he would never admit it, Remus was deeply grateful for this. 

After dinner, James had taken Peter out to the quidditch pitch. Peter had just made the Gryffindor team, and James was giving Peter extra training, as Peter was terrified the school would think he’d only made it because no one else wanted the spot. This was highly untrue, as Peter had outflown several potential keepers, but that didn’t stop Peter from believing the school wouldn’t get wind of his spectacular saves should he fail miserably in the first match of the season. With Peter and James off at double the quidditch trainings, Remus and Sirius were spending quite a bit more time alone together. Sirius had quit the team when his brother had made the Slytherin team. James had tried to talk him out of this, but Sirius was unpersuaded. He refused to compete with Regulus, no matter how light-hearted. If Sirius won, their mother would berate Sirius for being a terribly cruel older brother. If Regulus won, their mother would berate Sirius for being horribly infirm and an awful role model. For Sirius, nothing was a win at home, and these days, he was seeming more and more defeated by his mother’s antics. Although Remus hated to see Sirius so down in the face of something he once loved, Remus was also a little relieved to have company in the stands during matches, now that Peter had joined the team. Not that Remus wasn’t friendly with other students, but no one quite overlooked his mobility aids or monthly disappearances in the way his best friends did.  
Back in the common room, Remus surveyed his friend. “You were quiet at dinner,” he remarked.  
“I said stuff!” Sirius defended.  
“Yeah, I think you said one sentence all dinner. And you can’t say it’s ‘cause you were eating, because you weren’t, Padfoot.”  
“Charm’s wearing off, harder to read lips when your friends are disgusting teenage boys who talk with their mouths full.” Sirius popped his hearing aids out and laid them on the table. “I’ll have to stop by Flitwick’s office in the morning so he can put them right.”  
“This doesn’t explain the not eating,” Remus was careful to wait for Sirius to look directly at him, which took a bit, as Sirius was clearly avoiding his gaze.  
“Not hungry.”  
“So this has nothing to do with the match on Saturday?”  
“I don’t want to talk about Regulus, Rem.” Sirius’s voice had cracked, but Remus knew better than to push. He’d let it go, for the time being.  
“No worries, but I’m here if you need me, mate. Catch me up on all the classwork I missed?” And with that, the tension disappeared as Sirius fell into a rant about the amount of work Slughorn had assigned. Even McGonagall, who was stern but held a tender streak for Remus and usually eased up on homework when he was out, had assigned a lengthy essay all in the name of OWL preparation.  
When James and Peter returned to the dorm late that night, it was to find Sirius hunched over and asleep on a table, drooling onto a piece of parchment with nothing but his name scrawled in a corner. Remus was writing more intently, wide awake and fiercely determined to finish before bed. James started to creep up behind Sirius, as if not to wake him until the crucial moment of surprise, but Remus laughed aloud and indicated Sirius’s abandoned hearing aids. “Damn it, takes all the fun out of scaring him when he can’t hear me anyway. Too easy. How long’s he been out?” James plopped himself down on Sirius’s other side, examining his sleeping form.  
“Half an hour. I was about to poke him awake and force him to go to bed when you and Peter came in. Speaking of, where’d Peter get off to?” Remus had just noticed that Peter hadn’t followed James to the table.  
“Reckon he went straight up to bed. Poor kid, worked his ass off. He’s gotta be dead beat. Wouldn’t surprise me if he tries skipping classes tomorrow.”  
“Because he’s tired or because he’s nervous about facing the Slytherins in class tomorrow?”  
“Both, probably. But I’ll drag him to class myself if I have to. Avoiding things is only going to make his fears bigger. On the topic of avoidance, before we poke our dear Padfoot back to the world of the living, you notice how quiet he was at dinner? Because he’s been like that all day.”  
“Yeah, I tried getting him to talk about Regulus. He insisted his silence was entirely because his hearing aids are dead,” Remus rolled his eyes, “like that ever stops him.”  
James let out a snort of laughter. “Right, well, still. While I’m dragging Wormtail out of bed in the morning, you make sure our Silent Sirius makes it to Flitwick?”  
“Deal. He said he’d go, but if dead hearing aids get him out of talking about his family issues, I doubt he’ll be eager to give up even that lame excuse,” Remus agreed.  
“Oh Moony, you insightful bastard. Whatever will we do when you die?” With a smile and a wink to Remus, James stretched a finger dramatically, before shoving it in Sirius’s side to wake him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quidditch and Regulus being a dick

The rest of the week passed without much change. Sirius had gone willingly enough to Flitwick, but even with his hearing renewed, he remained uncharacteristically quiet. Peter too spent the week in anxious silence, but James was able to force him along to classes and eat almost enough to support their rigorous training schedule. James and Remus had agreed in secret to split their energies for their friends; James would keep Peter functional and Remus would look after Sirius. Together, the two managed to ensure their friends survived the week without incident, but as Sirius and Remus settled into the stands on Saturday, Remus remained unconvinced that this was the end of Sirius’s woes. It hadn’t escaped his notice, either, that while Remus was occupied with shoving his crutches under his seat, Sirius had took the opportunity of Remus’s supposed inattention to slip his hearing aids out. As if Remus wouldn’t notice the vibrant, glittering plastic missing from Sirius’s ears. 

Sirius, on his good days, had a flair for art and drama. Besides the loudly patterned hearing aids, Sirius liked to adorn his school bag with buttons from all sorts of clubs and causes, decorated his long hair with ribbons, and overall find any way to make his school uniform less uniform. It was Sirius, too, who had insisted on finding Remus crutches in Gryffindor colors, although he still hadn’t succeeded in finding a wheelchair to match. He was, however, threatening to charm the chair red and gold himself, or worse, use his wand to whittle lions into its frame. He’d been practicing on sticks just to show Remus he could, but Remus pretended not to trust Sirius with his wheelchair, mostly just so Sirius wouldn’t stop his whittling. It kept him occupied, besides being damned adorable to have Sirius constantly presenting him with tiny wooden lions. Remus would pretend to think they would be awful on his chair, but he kept every single one. Someday, when he felt Sirius was out of his slump and didn’t need a distraction, Remus would love for Sirius to decorate his wheelchair. In the meantime, he kept up his charade.

Sirius wasn’t oblivious to this act, but he enjoyed the reason to flirt with Remus. He wasn’t quite sure Remus had picked up on that, but he was fine with Remus’s obliviousness for the time being. He was a little afraid Remus would reject him. Remus was guarded, and underneath, Sirius knew he was deeply insecure. It was going to take a little extra work for Sirius to woo Remus until Remus believed in his own likability, but as Sirius wasn’t without his own insecurities, he was fully willing to wait it out. And right now, Sirius was far too occupied with plans to escape life at home to be worried about anything else. 

Sirius nudged Remus as the match started, pointing to an anxious-looking Peter taking his position at the goal hoops. Peter was shaking so hard he looked like he might fall off his broom, and reluctantly, Sirius replaced his hearing aids. He’d taken them out to signal to Remus he wasn’t going to talk about Regulus, but if Remus was as nervous for Peter as he was, that wouldn’t be an issue. Besides, Sirius wasn’t as subtle as he meant to be in removing them, so Remus had certainly gotten the message. 

“If Wormtail falls off his broom I’ll kill James,” Remus said as soon as Sirius was able to hear him. 

“Why James, mate? I’d kill the Slytherins first.” 

Remus thought quickly; Sirius shouldn’t know about his and James’s deal. Somehow, Remus didn’t think Sirius would take kindly to being babysat. “You’re welcome to take them out, you’ve got more right to that then anyone. But I’m going for James, he didn’t need to let Peter work himself senseless this week. Prongs feeds into Peter’s anxiety sometimes, and I know he thinks he’s helping but...” Remus trailed off. 

“Prongs doesn’t have anxiety and his methods can be a little misguided,” Sirius supplied. “And one more comment about my relationship to a certain rival house, and you’re getting the silent treatment, love.” 

“Padfoot my dear, if you’re threatening to take out your hearing aids again, I think it would be more silent for you than for me,” Remus teased. Sirius made an impolite gesture in Remus’s direction, but he was smiling as he turned his attention back on the game. Peter had saved his first goal, sending up a cheer from the majority of the spectators. Even the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were mostly supporting Gryffindor. The Slytherin team was particularly brutal this year, and no one was keen on seeing their house have to play them. As Gryffindor scored its first goal, Slytherin beater Mulciber sent a bludger flying a little too close to Prongs for comfort. Frank Longbottom, a well-meaning but terribly insensitive fellow Gryffindor, leaned over from behind Remus and Sirius. 

“God, lucky he missed. We don’t need another injury,” he whispered. Remus sighed, debating how kind to be in his answer. He did have live with this kid after all. 

“Not injured, mate. We’re disabled. Learn the difference,” Sirius answered before Remus had to. 

“I meant Lily,” said Frank, who was blushing. Remus wasn’t convinced that was what Frank had meant, but he left it alone. Lily had broken her arm in the quidditch final against Hufflepuff last year, leading her parents to decide Quidditch was too dangerous a game for their daughter to play. Thus Lily had left the keeper spot open for Peter. And Peter, it transpired, was a hidden talent. 

Half an hour into the match, Peter had saved every goal that came at him. His confidence seemed to have skyrocketed, as he was no longer shaking. Still, James was highly relieved when his fist closed around the snitch, edging out the Slytherin seeker by a millisecond. He wasn’t sure how long Peter’s newfound confidence would last, and he was almost more content knowing the game was over than with the impressive landslide win. James, after all, had been certain they’d win all along, though he couldn’t say it didn’t feel good to be on the other side of the match at long last. 

Sirius and Remus waited for the stands to clear out before getting up themselves. They weren’t in much of a rush to get back to the common room, as their friends would need time to change anyway, but mostly, Remus liked to wait for the crowd to clear out so he could maneuver down from the stands a little easier. He appreciated that Sirius was patient with his slow descent. McGonagall had said Dumbledore was rallying the board of governors to fund a lift in the stands, but as the board of governors was notoriously full of old pureblood families with no actual sense of compassion, Remus wasn’t holding his breath. He was glad enough for the time being that the staircases in the castle had long before been charmed to provide a kind of self-moving ramp at the approach of someone with limited mobility; apparently a feature provided by Helga Hufflepuff herself in the early years of the castle, but the quidditch pitch remained woefully inaccessible. 

When they reached the Gryffindor common room, Remus was exhausted and sore from the climb up and down the stands. Sirius immediately darted up to their room to fetch Remus’s wheelchair without being asked. It was as much a kindness for his friend as an excuse to collect himself before facing the raging party that was just amping up in the common room below. Remus suspected as much and sank into an armchair by the fire to wait, deciding not to question Sirius on how it would inevitably take far too long for his return to be just a trip to grab the chair. Nor would Remus point out the wheelchair wasn’t entirely necessary, as he didn’t plan on going anywhere but up to bed for the rest of the evening. When Sirius returned, he’d give up the comfy chair and move around the common room just to humor Sirius. But for now, Sirius could have his space, and Remus could enjoy his comfortable seating arrangement. 

As Remus sat, the party became increasingly more raucous. The Prewett brothers had returned from a trip to the kitchens with food and butterbeer, and the victorious Gryffindor team had emerged through the portrait hole to much excitement. Sirius was still nowhere to be seen, a fact that could hardly escape notice as Sirius was usually the life of the party.   
Lily came to sit near Remus, now alone and near dozing off. “Have you seen Sirius?” she asked gently. “Can’t say I have,” Remus lied, “but if you’re looking for James, he’s probably forcing butterbeer down Peter’s throat somewhere,” Remus knew Lily’s inquiry for Sirius had been a thinly veiled question about James. James was certain his crush was unrequited, but Remus saw the way Lily always managed to appear wherever James was. 

“Er, thanks,” she said, clearly embarrassed that Remus knew her intentions. “Want me to send them over here, if I find them?” Remus appreciated that Lily seemed to offer him genuine kindness. Frank would probably be over in a bit for a sympathy chat, which he was keen on avoiding. 

“Nah, let them have their fun. I think I’m going to turn in early. Thanks, though, Lily,” Remus answered. 

“Suit yourself, party pooper,” Lily shrugged before making a beeline to the butterbeer table. 

Sure enough, as Remus was hoisting himself into a standing position, Frank appeared with an outstretched hand. “No offence mate, but my crutches are sturdier than your hand.” Straightening up, Remus crutched past Frank before pausing to look back. “Thank you, though,” he said, trying to sound more genuine than he felt. Annoying as Frank was, Remus knew he meant well. And they did have to live together for a few more years. It wouldn’t be altogether pleasant to piss Frank off. And Frank for his part seemed to listen to constructive criticism. He was loads better than he used to be. 

“Crutches strong, hands weak. Noted,” Frank said with a smile. “Want to grab a beer with me?” 

“I’m headed up to bed. Rain check?” 

“I’ll hold you to it.” Frank winked. Remus blinked. Was Frank...flirting? No way. He was so into Lily’s friend Alice it was almost painful. Remus decided not to think about it, as his main concern at the moment was for Sirius, who had been gone “retrieving Remus’s wheelchair” for nearly an hour. 

At the top of the tower, where the fifth year boys were housed, Remus knocked on the door gently to warn Sirius of his arrival before entering. He had a feeling Sirius had his hearing aids out and wouldn’t hear it, but at least he could say he’d tried. “Padfoot?” he said softly, pushing open the door. Sirius was there, laying on Remus’s bed. The wheelchair was at least out and unfolded, so Remus knew Sirius had at least intended to follow through. But as Remus moved closer, he could see tears falling down the other boy’s face. His hearing aids were in, but he didn’t acknowledge that he’d heard Remus enter. 

Remus lowered himself into his wheelchair and pulled closer to Sirius. Wordlessly, Sirius handed him a piece of parchment. It was a little smudged, as Sirius had evidently been crying as he held it, but it was still legible. Remus read what turned out to be an absurd letter from Regulus. Regulus, who had been such a small and frightened boy when he first came to Hogwarts, had started falling in with the wrong crowd. The kind of crowd who did dark magic and dreamed of joining the Death Eaters when they left Hogwarts. And they were the kind of crowd who hated Sirius. Sirius had fought so hard to protect his younger brother from the kind of abuse he had endured at the hands of their parents, but Regulus was falling in with the people their parents most wished their boys to fall in with, and had become the favorite son. Which left Sirius here, holding a letter. In it, Regulus called Sirius all sorts of nasty things, while managing to claim it “was nothing personal.” After all, Regulus said, Sirius “wasn’t to blame for his physical shortcomings” and “regrettable house affiliations.” Regulus begged Sirius to “come back into the heterosexual lifestyle” and “join up with his true friends before it is too late.” Regulus, to his credit, seemed at least to still hold some respect and concern for his older brother. “Mum and dad will forgive you for associating with blood traitors, I know they will. If you just come back in with our crowd. I want my brother back.” The letter went on and on in a similar fashion. When he’d finished reading, Remus looked back at his friend. 

“Padfoot. What do you need?” 

“Just...don’t tell anyone. I guess James will have to know eventually, I’m...” Sirius stopped, looking at Remus as though judging whether or not to trust him. His face relaxed as he reminded himself that Remus had always trusted him. Remus too had always been supportive and unassuming. Taking deep, calming breaths and rubbing at the spot between his thumb and hand, where Madam Pomfrey had taught him could trick the body out of panic mode, Sirius resumed, “I’m thinking of running away from home and going to live with the Potters.” This came out much faster than intended, and fearfully, Sirius looked back up to Remus to gage his reaction. If Remus was shocked or judgmental, it didn’t show in his face. 

“That’s probably a good idea, Pad. Mrs. Potter would take you in an instant. Do you have a plan?” Remus’s answer made Sirius relax. He sat up before answering. 

“I’m going to go back over the summer, for a bit. There’s stuff there I don’t want to leave. And I’ll try to make nice for a bit. Regulus is...he’s been a prat, but I need to make sure he’s going to be okay. There’s no way I can just piss off and leave him there without at least making sure he’ll be okay. I don’t have that part figured out yet, but. Well, it’s only November. That’s why I’m not doing this at the end of this term. Anyway, once I feel like things are squared away, and I can steal some cash off my parents, I’m out. I do want to make sure James is okay with this, but, I just don’t think I can let Peter worry until I’m safely out, y’know?” 

“I know. And I can’t imagine James will have a problem with this. I’m proud of you, Sirius,” Remus offered Sirius a tissue, noticing Sirius’s futile attempts to staunch the flow from his nose, even as his tears subsided. Sirius took the tissue, his hand brushing gently against Remus’s. 

“Shit shit shit, I’m on your bed. You probably came up here to get in bed and I’m here being a completely selfish piece of shit, I’m so sorry!” Remus wasn’t shocked to hear Sirius’s self-degradation, especially after laying himself bare like that. But it still hurt, because Remus revered Sirius. Knowing Sirius felt so poorly about himself made Remus feel more helpless than just about anything. 

“I mostly came up here to check in on you, Pads. Don’t worry about it. If I really wanted to get in bed, I’d just steal yours. Or better yet, climb in there with you,” Remus tried to keep his tone teasing, but he hoped just a little that Sirius would pick up on the flirting, too. 

“That’s gay, Moony dear. Careful, or my brother will be after you to uh, ‘come back to the heterosexual lifestyle’ or whatever it was.” 

“He’d be fighting a losing battle on that front, and you know it. But you know he won’t. Everyone thinks I’m gay because of the werewolf bite anyway. No fun trying to tell them I’d be gay no matter what.” 

“God, it is funny watching them try and convince themselves the whole werewolves-cause-homosexuality thing actually makes sense.” 

“Who are we to deprive them of that great intellectual pursuit?” Remus asked, but his joking tone was slightly marred by a soft grunt. His body really was hurting from the strain of the day.

Sirius picked up on this, but was mercifully kind enough not to say anything. Remus was a little stubborn when it came to admitting he was in pain. So in silence, Sirius got up off the bed and began getting ready to get into his own. Remus scooped up his crutches again and transferred himself to the bed. He didn’t bother to change into pajamas or attend to bedtime hygiene rituals, and he was fast asleep within a few seconds of hitting the pillow, long before the rest of their dorm mates tore themselves away from the party below. 

In the weeks that followed, Peter seemed to thrive. James convinced him to let up on the constant training sessions, and Sirius too seemed to have returned to his usual peppy self. A celebratory prank on the Slytherin team had landed James and Sirius in detention, during which time Sirius was able to let James in on the plan. James was more than thrilled to have Sirius come and live with him, and with Sirius’s permission, had written to his mother to ask her blessing. Mrs. Potter was over the moon. So over the moon, in fact, that her lengthy letter of welcome-into-the-family to Sirius was hard to hide from Peter. But James had agreed, too, that Peter’s new confident mood didn’t need to be marred with worry for his friend. 

The December full moon landed on the last night before Christmas break. Normally, this would make Remus even more anxious, as he would be leaving for the holidays without a chance to see his friends. He would have the entire break to worry that this was the month his friends decided they didn’t want a queer, disabled werewolf for a friend any longer. But somehow, Remus felt his friendships had become just a little stronger this term. And with both Peter and Sirius in lasting good moods, Remus couldn’t help but have a more positive outlook, too. Besides, he was pretty sure Sirius was finally flirting back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Regulus fans?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A date is proposed

The Christmas holidays passed without incident. Remus had gone home to his parents, who didn’t like to let him spend breaks at Hogwarts. They wanted to see their son was okay, and although their worry made him somewhat uncomfortable, he obliged. Sirius and James were spending the break at school, but Peter was going home to his folks as well. Knowing his friends weren’t all going to be at school without him was also a comforting thought. They weren’t going to replace him, and he knew it. For the first full moon since coming to Hogwarts, he was certain his friends were not going to wake up in human form the next morning and decide Remus just wasn’t one of them. And the start of the next term proved it. 

“MOONY!” Sirius nearly tripped over Remus’s wheels in haste to greet him. 

“How was Christmas with the ‘rents?” James asked a little more calmly. 

“Not too bad. They pretty much made me use my wheelchair all break though. I don’t think they understand that crutches aren’t going to kill me.” Remus rolled his eyes. 

“I dunno mate, if someone whacks you over the head with one of those things, I think they’d have a shot at murder.” Sirius said fairly. 

“That’s not the crutches though,” said Peter, who had arrived quietly behind Remus. 

“Fair point, Wormy. Crutches don’t kill people, people kill people,” James laughed at his own joke. 

“Well, good to be back and discussing my impending death. I can always count on you lot to remind me of my own mortality. How was your break, Wormtail?” 

“Not too bad. My parents took me to a muggle psychiatrist and I got anxiety meds. I think they’re helping,” Peter toed at the carpet with his foot, seeming a little embarrassed at his own vulnerability. 

“Well that’s awesome, Wormtail! Now can you convince Sirius to get on that bandwagon?” James raised his eyebrows pointedly at Sirius, who blushed. 

“Don’t think my parents would be too keen on paying for muggle remedies, Prongs. Or any remedies, to be honest. Anxiety is a personal failing I wouldn’t have if I’d buck up and join the Dark Side. They have cookies, or something.” Sirius sank into a chair as though wiped out by the mere thought of his family’s antics. The others joined him in their usual spots near the fire, although Remus stayed in his wheelchair, his crutches still packed in his trunk made it difficult to transfer on his own. 

 

“Want a hand into a more comfortable chair, Moony? You had to sit in that thing all break, I can’t imagine you wouldn’t rather sit in that ugly floral abomination you’re so fond of,” Sirius offered. 

“Actually yeah, if you don’t mind. McGonagall said she’d bring my stuff up for me, but she’s also supervising arrivals so I can’t imagine I’ll have my crutches back any time soon.” Remus ignored the slight on his favorite armchair. Sure, it looked like something out of his grandmother’s basement, and smelled about the same, but it was the most comfortable while still supporting his body without too much effort on his part or help from carefully placed pillows. Sirius bent in front of Remus, allowing Remus to secure his hands around his neck. Then Sirius straightened up and walked backwards as Remus drew himself into a standing position. Sirius placed his hands around Remus’s waist and helped to guide his hips out, one at time, until Remus was in front of the floral armchair. Then as Remus lowered himself towards sitting, Sirius bent forward again until Remus’s backside was securely on the cushion, and when Remus released Sirius’s neck, Sirius flung himself back into his own seat. 

“So you gonna trust me to do that again later, or will you be stuck there till our lovely head of house makes good on her promise?” Remus was entirely too independent for Sirius’s liking. If it were up to Sirius, he’d take any reason to wrap his arms around Remus’s waist, but his luck, he was crushing on the single most independent person in Hogwarts. The idiot.   
Remus, though, seemed to pick up on the implication. Sirius had been a little too keen to grab his waist. “I’ll make James do it on the way up, just to get you jealous.” 

“Ugh, get a room,” Peter threw an empty chocolate frog wrapper in Sirius’s direction. Sirius was waggling his eyebrows suggestively at Remus, but stopped when the wrapper hit his arm. 

“What are you implying, Wormtail?” Sirius asked, feigning ignorance. 

“Wormtail’s right, if you two don’t go to Hogsmeade together next month, I might suffocate from all the sexual tension between you two. Stop flirting with each other and pretending not to notice it’s mutual,” James was smiling, but his tone was almost stinging. Evidently, James and Peter had been talking behind their backs and were quite fed up with Sirius and Remus. 

“We always go to Hogsmeade together,” Remus said. He was furiously uncomfortable with the sneak attack, and wishing he’d stayed put in his wheelchair so he could have made a quick getaway. 

“WITHOUT me and Prongs,” Peter said sternly. They’d definitely been conspiring, Remus concluded. 

“Prongs, Wormy, did you two seriously decide to ask Remus on a date on my behalf? Because that was very rude, and I’ll have you know you’ve foiled a very dramatic plan of mine to ask Remus out in a beautifully romantic manner,” Sirius seemed genuinely put off, and Remus was blushing harder than ever. 

“Sorry Padfoot. Worm and I got tired of waiting for you to get over your nerves and ask already. I tried to offer you an out with those anxiety meds, but you dug your own grave on that one mate,” Sirius was nearly in tears at James’s betrayal. He was thanking his lucky stars no one else had made it made to the common room yet; he hated people knowing about his anxiety and James knew it. “So Moony, what do you say? Will you accept my proposal on behalf of our squeamish friend?” James turned to look at the now beet-red Remus. 

“I uh, I mean. If, if Sirius wants...Sirius if you are really, I’d like that. Y’know, only if you want...” Remus stumbled. 

“And they say I’m the anxious one!” Sirius’s voice was shaking, though, so his sarcasm was a little lost. “But yeah, I do want. If you want. Obviously, I mean, I did have an elaborate plan, but, well, as Prongs has so callously pointed out, it’s taken me a bit to act on it,” Sirius finished. James was rolling his eyes, but he was merciful enough not to add that Sirius’s plan dated back over a year.

“Er, well then, yes. Sirius Orion Black, I would love to go to Hogsmeade with you, next month, without our conniving asshole friends.” 

“I look forward to it, Remus John Lupin,” Sirius smiled, and Peter let out a squeal of delight. 

“I think we’ll leave you two lovebirds alone, then,” James said, extending a hand to pull Peter up. 

“Sirius, love, could you do me a favor and kick Prongs on his way out?” 

“Sure thing, dearest. And when you get your crutches back, could you do me a favor and test that theory about them being deadly?” Sirius aimed a kick at James as promised. James responded with an obscene gesture before he and Peter left the tower in hysterics. 

Remus, though, was over the moon at the prospect of having an afternoon alone, with Sirius, with the knowledge of mutual admiration now out in the open. 

The week before the date was a full moon. The morning after the full moon found Sirius and James alone, Remus still in the grips of Madam Pomfrey and Peter having gone to mail a letter home. Sirius was rocking back and forth on his bed, his breathing sounding heavy. 

“You alright, mate?” James asked, with a look of concern. “Want to talk about it?” James sat on the bed next to Sirius, wrapping an arm around him and waiting. For all the teasing, James was still good at being supportive when Sirius slipped into panic. 

“The date,” Sirius gasped. James though he knew what he meant. 

“You’ll be fine, Pads. If anyone’s going to make a fool of himself next week, it’ll be Moony. The poor kid’s been head over heels for you since probably first year. I’d be willing to bet he’ll say I love you almost immediately. Trust me, you’re going to be fine.” James kept repeating “You’ll be fine,” gently slipping into a calming rhythm until Sirius’s breathing began to sound a little more easy. 

“And Regulus?” Sirius turned to look at James. “What if he finds out?” 

What of it?” James scoffed. “No really,” he started, because Sirius looked like he was about to protest, “I know you care about him, and I respect that, Padfoot, but he’s chosen his allegiance, and it’s not with you. You can’t keep stifling yourself for him. It’s not fair. You’re not you since that letter, Sirius. You’re my best mate and you might fool the others, but I noticed you changed your hearing aids. Flesh tones? Really? And what happened to all your buttons and ribbons and nail polish? And now you want to give up on dating the love of your life. For what? Hurting yourself won’t save Regulus, Sirius. As much as you want to protect him, he’s gone, Sirius. And I can’t see you gone, too. I just can’t.” 

James had choked on the last bit, and Sirius couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The two sat in silence for a moment. It might have been seconds, it might have been years, but they were both crying. Eventually, Sirius stood and went over to the dresser. He plucked his hearing aids from his ears and reached deep into a drawer until he found what he was looking for. Sirius popped in his loudest, tackiest, most neon and glittery, rainbow hearing aids. 

“Welcome back,” a smile broke wide on James’s face. 

“Ah shit, these ones are dead,” Sirius laughed. 

“Well, we best get you down to Flitwick then.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date happens amidst new rumors

“So, where do you want to go?” Sirius asked nervously. They’d been alone together countless times and got along fine, but this was different. This was a date. And they had an entire town to explore at their leisure. If only James and Peter had planned their date a little more carefully…

“Oh I hear the uh, Shrieking Shack is supposed to be pretty romantic,” Remus was using all his will power to keep a straight face. 

“Mm, nothing like being a little spooked and having your date to comfort you. Somehow, Moony, I don’t think that one will work for us, though. Just a hunch.” 

“Yeah, I’ve never been spooked by that place, you’re right. Would I impress my date if I told him I actually go inside the shrieking shack every month?” 

“I think that would be a little lost on him. You see, he also goes about that often.” 

“Ah, you’re so right. I’ll have to find another way to impress him.” 

“You could start by suggesting somewhere for your date to take you.” 

“There’s a thought! How about the Hog’s Head?”

“The Hog’s Head?” Sirius stopped walking and looked straight on at Remus. “Why the bloody hell would we go there?” 

“Okay hear me out,” said Remus, also halting and wheeling around to face Sirius, “We need to be in a place where James and Peter won’t be, so that eliminates The Three Broomsticks, Honeydukes, and Zonko’s. I think we’ve eliminated the Shrieking Shack pretty well…I mean, maybe that’d be good on our way back, for a laugh. But it’s not exactly somewhere you can stay for the length of a date, so we still need to find somewhere to pull up, maybe grab a bite to eat, chat, and exchange further flirtatious banter-“ 

“Flirtatious banter?”

“Let me finish. Point is, what’s left? Well, Madam Puddifoot’s is where most couples would end up on that sort of a date. Except, that’s like putting a sign on our heads ‘WE ARE TWO BLOKES, OUT ON A DATE.’ I mean, our friends are cool with it, obviously,” 

“Obviously. But the Slytherins…”

“Yeah, not in the mood to deal with all of that. So where does that leave?” 

“Well, the Post Office, that’s out for obvious reasons. Or The Hog’s Head. You’re a genius,” Sirius contended. 

“Yes, everyone knows I’m the bookish one. But out of curiosity, what was going through your head when I said the Hog’s Head, at first?” Remus turned away from Sirius and back towards the dirt road to Hogsmeade, tapping his wheelchair gently with his wand to urge it forward, and Sirius followed. 

“Honestly? I thought you were suggesting something a little less honorable, like getting drunk on firewhiskey or something.” 

“You haven’t been that bad an influence on me yet. But maybe our second date?” 

“Maybe our second date,” Sirius smiled. 

“And that was flirtatious banter,” Remus laughed. 

“Mm, well spotted. But we haven’t even gotten to our destination yet.” 

“Yes, we move fast, don’t we? That’s probably why we’re going to get shitfaced on our second date. We’re sloppy, Padfoot.” 

“I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you shitfaced, or anything close to sloppy, Moony,” Sirius laughed as they reached the entrance to the shadiest place Hogwarts students could enter. He held open the door for Remus, “After you, Oh Bookish One.” 

Three hours later, they were still sitting in the Hog’s Head, when a group of Gryffindor girls walked in. “Oh thank god, we’ve been looking for you two,” Lily slid into the empty seat between Remus and Sirius. 

“Uh, you have?” Sirius asked, eyes scanning the group. Lily, Alice, and Mary. Three of the last people he would have expected to see in the Hog’s Head. 

“Yeah, well, we saw James. And Peter. And they said they hadn’t seen you two all day. And at this rate we’ll barely make it back in time for dinner, and we thought we’d help find you…” Lily trailed off, looking from Mary to Alice, as though hoping for back up. Remus thought he knew what was happening, but he didn’t want to betray Lily’s trust. She was obviously trying to impress James by what? Rescuing his friends from being in trouble with Filch for being late? It was a nice thought, but Mary and Alice looked annoyed. If they got detention with Filch for missing dinner because of Lily’s crush… 

“I think we’d better let these three escort us back,” Remus said pointedly to Sirius, who was looking sullen. 

“What if I’d rather let Filch get us?” Sirius challenged. Remus sighed. 

“I’m going back with these three, I think. James would never let us live it down if we got detention without him,” Remus was trying to keep his voice light, but he was terrified he was ruining his chances with Sirius. He just didn’t want the girls to catch on to what was happening. Lily was friends with Severus, a Slytherin. What if she told Severus that he and Sirius were on a date? They might as well have gone to Madam Puddifoot’s, at that point. But Sirius got up and followed the others back to the castle. 

“Alice, Mary, you go on in. I’ll join you in a minute,” Lily stopped in the Entrance Hall, just past Filch and before the door to the Great Hall, one hand on Remus’s shoulder, the other on Sirius’s elbow, holding them back with her. Sirius froze, looking terrified. Remus thought he must look about the same. 

“Listen, I’m sorry. I didn’t want them to come with me but I ran into them while I was looking for you and I didn’t know how to shake them off. I’d told them I wasn’t coming to Hogsmeade and I had to pretend I’d changed my mind and come to join them I just…sorry, I didn’t really see James or Peter at all. I wanted to talk to you. To both of you.” 

“Why us?” Sirius had regained a casual look, but Remus thought he must have been making the connections he had. Lily, Severus, Slytherin, Regulus, Sirius’s parents… 

“Well a couple of things. Remus, I know you know how I feel about James. And I wanted to talk about that but first, I need to tell you there have been rumors about you two…” 

“Oh Jesus, Evans, I never took you as the homophobic type,” Sirius said, a little too loudly. 

“I’m not! I promise. Really. But that is the gist of the rumors. And I didn’t hear it from Gryffindors…” Lily seemed too nervous to tell them where, exactly, she did hear it. 

“Snivellus,” Sirius supplied for her. 

“Well, yes. But that’s beside the point. Sirius, your brother. He’s been saying-“ 

“Don’t you worry yourself about me or my brother, Evans. Didn’t you want to talk about James?” 

“I guess it feels a little silly now,” Lily blushed, but made no attempt to continue the previous conversation. “I just wondered, y’know, if he knows what you know, Remus?” she blushed still further, but looked hopeful. 

“Absolutely not. He’s oblivious. But he likes you, if that helps? He just hates that you hang around with Severus,” Remus didn’t know why he was telling Lily all of this. Maybe he was just as frustrated with the constant unresolved crushing between James and Lily as James had been towards himself and Sirius. 

“Er, right. Well. Thanks, Remus. And you, Sirius. Best get to dinner,” she said, scurrying off into the Great Hall. 

“Well that was interesting,” Sirius started walking towards the Great Hall, but Remus stayed. “Coming?” Sirius asked, looking over his shoulder. 

“Give it a second. We’re going to the same place Lily is. Be really awkward to just come in right behind her, after that…” 

“You’re a genius,” Sirius laughed, and the tension in Remus’s body eased slightly. 

“Yes, we’ve established that already.” 

“One problem,” Sirius said, and his face turned frightened again. 

“What’s that?” Remus frowned. 

“Well, it’s just. If Lily has heard things, y’know. And we’re a little on the later end. Almost everyone’s probably in there and, well, if we come in together, just us. I mean, if the rumors…” 

“I see what you mean. But we can’t exactly skip dinner altogether. That’d feed the rumors even more, I bet…” Remus was stumped, and he was concerned. If Sirius was showing even this small amount of concern about the supposed rumors, he must have been feeling it tenfold. 

“Let’s just…wait a minute. See if someone else comes, and maybe we can follow them in? If no one comes after a minute, you go on in, and I’ll just. I dunno. Go off to bed, I guess.” 

“What, skip dinner entirely? You can’t just-“ 

“FRANK!” Sirius had shouted so loudly and suddenly, Frank nearly jumped out of his skin. 

“Hiya, Sirius, Remus. Er, what are you two doing?” 

“Waiting for you! Alice has been worried sick, you know. You’ve nearly missed dinner,” Sirius clapped an arm around Frank’s shoulders and guided him into the Great Hall, Remus following slightly behind. 

“Alice?” Frank looked puzzled, “Did she say something?” 

“Well, we saw her in Hogsmeade earlier, without you, and that just seemed a little odd. Aren’t you two going together?” Sirius kept his back to Remus the whole way to the Gryffindor table. 

“Um, no. We aren’t. I mean, I’d like to ask her. Do you think she’d be interested, then? In me?” Frank took the seat next to Sirius, leaving Remus to find a spot down the table. 

 

 

 

“SO,” James prompted, back in the common room that evening. The four had been talking about other things for ages, but James had clearly been dying to ask about the date. Now that there was no one near enough to hear what they were saying, it was finally safe.

“How did it go?” Peter asked, bouncing in his seat. 

“And what if it went horribly wrong? You’re going to ask us together, right now? And expect us to tell you as much?” Sirius looked from James to Peter incredulously. 

“Well, let’s look at the facts, here, Padfoot. You’ve set up Frank and Alice. Which must be going well because it’s past curfew and neither one is anywhere to be seen,” 

“And so what if I have?” Sirius laughed, scanning the common room. James was right, it was past ten on a Saturday night and neither Frank nor Alice were there, yet Lily and Mary were sitting in a nearby corner, and Alice didn’t usually go to bed before her friends. 

“Padfoot, Padfoot, Padfoot. You idiot,” James shook his head. “Tell him, Wormtail, so what if he has?” 

Peter looked like he had been bursting to answer this question for hours, “So people who’ve just been on awful dates don’t go setting up other people on dates!” 

“Well, it sounds like you two have worked out how our date went for yourselves, then. Why bother to ask?” Remus said with a soft smile. 

“Well, you didn’t come in together. And Remus, you didn’t even sit with us at dinner. What was that about?” James asked with a frown. 

Sirius squirmed uncomfortably, but Remus didn’t think it was his place to answer. “We uh, saw Lily before, and…” Sirius glanced at Remus before continuing. “We saw Lily. And she told us…well. She basically told us some people knew. What we were doing. Like people who aren’t you. And I guess she was worried. Not that it’s true. I mean that people know. But, well, it just felt, y’know. Safer.” 

“You mean to come in separately?” James asked. “But what about sitting apart? Remus, I mean, no offence mate, but was that really the smartest move? Looks kind of guilty, doesn’t it?” 

“Yeah, I was afraid of that. But Frank just sat down. I didn’t exactly have a choice,” Remus was terrified now. He’d hoped that wasn’t where anyone else’s mind would go when he’d ventured down the table, away from his friends. How odd that must have looked! 

“Relax, you two. If people noticed, they must also have noticed that Frank totally cut Remus off. Frank’s kind of a dick about Remus. Everyone knows that. That’s all people will be think it was, I’m sure,” Sirius sounded like he was comforting himself as much as the others, but no one wanted to challenge him on it. 

“Yeah, I mean, Lily could be wrong. Just ‘cause her good friend Snivelly is a nosy prick doesn’t mean everyone’s talking about you two. And so what if they are, anyway?” Peter asked. 

“So what if they are…you’re absolutely right, Wormy,” Sirius was smiling, but his tone was forced, and he was rubbing that spot near his thumb that meant he was trying to bring his anxiety down. Remus groaned internally; Peter would, eventually, have to know why it mattered. Sirius couldn’t be kicked out of his house before he was ready to leave it. And it sounded like Regulus was threatening to tell their parents what he knew, which would surely get Sirius erased from the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black before he was ready to leave it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snape's a piece of shit; ableist/homophobic language is used

“I’ve been letting you out early for months now, I hope you’re not getting used to it,” Remus was pleading with Madam Pomfrey to let him join his friends for dinner. “Absolutely not, Mr. Lupin. I haven’t done a full assessment on you since September.” 

“You do those annually! It’s March! Please, there’s no reason for me to spend the night, even if I do miss dinner,” Remus had woken up that morning with a distinct feeling of dread. Although Madam Pomfrey had declared him fit to return to the castle almost immediately, he couldn’t help but worry that something had happened to Sirius, James, or Peter in their full moon shenanigans. Werewolves didn’t hurt animals; not intentionally, at least. But what if something had happened unintentionally? 

“I haven’t done a sleep assessment since you were thirteen,” Madam Pomfrey countered, “so there is every reason for you to spend the night. You’ll be free to go for dinner tomorrow.” 

“But I haven’t had problems sleeping. And DINNER tomorrow? Can’t I leave when I’ve woken up? I could stay through breakfast, even, and make it in time for classes, why do I have to miss another day of classes just for an assessment on something I haven’t had a problem with?” 

“Just because you haven’t been aware of a sleep problem doesn’t mean you haven’t had one, and you’ll need to stay the day. Sleep assessment also means assessing your alertness, which you would remember if you hadn’t argued your way out of these for two years. No more excuses, Mr. Lupin, you’re staying.” Remus sank back into his pillows, resigned to 24 more hours of worry and boredom. He could only hope that when he failed to show for breakfast, his friends would come by during a break and prove to him they were alright; because the only other way he’d see them was if one was badly hurt enough they had to come to the hospital wing for themselves, and not for him. 

The following morning, Madam Pomfrey allowed Remus out of bed for a short exercise as the bell rang for 10 o’clock break. She had placed his wheelchair on one end of a long mat, metal support bars lined the path. Remus was supposed to use his crutches to get himself out of bed and across the mat, then into his wheelchair, which he would guide back to his bed before using his crutches to get himself back into bed. This was to be repeated once more, then two of these in the evening, and he’d be free to go, assuming he performed well enough to satisfy Madam Pomfrey. She watched him like a hawk the rest of the day to make sure this was his only activity. On the second round of the morning, there was a knock on the hospital wing doors. Remus tensed as Madam Pomfrey called, “Be with you in a moment!” Then to Remus, “Back to bed before I open that door, if it’s who we both think it is, every minute over ten they stay is an extra hour you spend here, resting.” 

Being held hostage for rest was not exactly the worst price he could pay for peace of mind, Remus thought as he manually steered his wheelchair to the far end of the room. Staying in bed, drinking some tea, not worrying about the mound of homework waiting for him in Gryffindor tower; if his friends were okay, it sounded like an ideal evening. He could ask them to stay twenty minutes and get another full night of rest before returning to the cruel world of OWL preparations. But until that door was opened, he was going to be tortured by the thought of one of his friends still writhing in pain on the Hogwarts grounds, the others desperately trying to invent a story before getting help and breaking the news to Remus. So Remus carefully lowered himself onto the bed, tugged his legs up, and pulled the covers up to his chest before turning to Madam Pomfrey, “Good enough?” She sighed, as if hoping something would have gone wrong, just to have an excuse to keep the door tightly shut, before resigning to Remus’s good health and agility and opening the door.

Framed in the large stone double doors were three boys, Remus counted and re-counted. James, Sirius, Peter. One, two, three. They were all there, and all upright. “Is Remus Lupin here?” James asked, in the faux-ignorant tone he always used when asking after Remus. They weren’t, after all, supposed to know where or what Remus was. Only a select few of the staff knew, but Madam Pomfrey wasn’t oblivious. She knew Remus’s friends knew, but she pretended not to, so they all kept up the charade.   
“He’s a bit under the weather, but he is here. You boys are welcome to visit for ten minutes and ten minutes only. He needs rest and quiet, and you lot need to get back to class.” She sidled away into her office, which would let the friends have a private conversation. She knew this, but the boys had never considered that she gave them privacy intentionally. She seemed far too stern.   
“Tell me nothing bad happened the other night?” Remus asked nervously, almost too soon as Madam Pomfrey’s office door had barely clicked shut.   
“Nothing bad happened,” Sirius said quickly. 

“Really?” Remus turned to James, feeling unconvinced. 

“Not to us, but what’re you still doing here?” James raised an eyebrow to Remus, “And why did Madam Pomfrey take your crutches and your wheelchair into her office with her? How long’re you here till?” 

“Dinner, for additional assessments, unless you lot stay more than ten. I still feel like you’re hiding something. Peter, are they hiding something?” 

“Don’t change the subject, Moony, why additional assessments? What’s wrong?” James’s attention was on Remus, but Remus had noticed Sirius stomping none-too-lightly on Peter’s foot. 

“Nothing’s wrong with me. Madam Pomfrey’s kind streak of letting me out early has come to an end, is all. And don’t YOU change the subject, Prongs. Wormtail, you’ve got a Padfoot on your foot. Anyone care to explain?” 

James sighed as Sirius turned to him, “Don’t you dare!” Sirius shrieked to James.

“Ah yes, that’s not suspicious at all,” Remus rolled his eyes.

“Fine. I fucked up,” Sirius said, “but everyone’s fine.” 

“Still not comforting. Still would prefer actual explanations. Also, it’s been more than ten minutes so please make this worth my additional time in solitary confinement.” 

“Right, fine. So. Okay. The story. Right,” Sirius started, “James, you want to tell it?” 

“How about you start and I’ll pick up when it gets to me, yeah?” 

“Right. Fuck you. But okay. So.” 

“I should add that every minute over ten minutes is another hour I stay here.”

“Right so, okay, fine. So when you left dinner the other night, Snivellus comes over to the Gryffindor table. He’s being all high and mighty, way out of character. I swear he was actually the one picking the fight this time.” 

“Yeah right,” Remus rolled his eyes again. 

“No really, Moony, it was awful,” Peter pitched in. 

“It was. The greasy bat just starts telling everyone what he thinks their biggest flaws are, more or less. Not even just us, he’s going on and on down the Gryffindor table, pretty much, and we’re all just sort of shocked and Lily’s there and he never acts that shitty in front of her so no one knows what to do until finally, Lily just goes berserk. She starts telling him off and get this- he calls her a…well, a-you-know-what” 

“Severus called Lily that? No way. I know he’s a prick, and I know he wants to be in with the death eater crowd, but he’s her friend!” Remus protested. He was forgetting to be worried about where this was leading. 

“That’s what we always thought, yeah, but no, he straight up calls her a mudblood. Doesn’t cushion it or anything, just SHUT UP, YOU…yeah. So Lily runs off because I mean, what would anyone do? She’s been defending him for years. Anyway so we turn to him and James is totally about to curse him to next month, but he’s not done. He goes, ‘that’s your girl, gone, James. But where’s yours, tonight, Sirius? Where’s the little frail fourth you lot let limp along behind and ogle at your backsides, like a queer cripple stray dog? How come the little bitch is always disappearing ‘round this time of the month?’ And I just- I’m sorry I let him say all that, Remus. I don’t know where my head was at, but when he’d shut up for long enough, I told him to press the knot on the Whomping Willow that night about eight and find out where you’d be; and that’s all I got out because James and Peter dragged me away before a professor could come over,” Sirius paused, looking at the floor. James and Peter, too, seemed suddenly interested in the speckled floor tiles. 

“Please tell me,” said Remus gently, “that when you told me everyone was okay, you were including Severus in that count? Tell me he did not come up the tunnel at eight or any time that night, while I was the wolf?” 

“Well, he’s alright, and he didn’t come up the tunnel. Prongs?” Sirius turned to James, still avoiding Remus’s gaze. 

“Right, so we decided the best course of action would be to keep watch. Wormy and I took it in turns to keep watch. Pads…well. We left Pads in an upstairs room and locked the door, being emotionally compromised and all. So uh, yeah. When I was on my second watch, Snape comes up and pokes the tree, so I just sort of charged at him. In deer form. With my antlers. He’s not hurt! I got him on my back and just walked him back to the castle. I sat him on the steps and he goes, ‘Remus?’ And…” James had started laughing at this point, though Remus did not look at all amused, “Oh come on, you have to admit that’s funny. So anyway, I change back right in front of him because what else am I going to do at this point?” 

“WALK AWAY AS A DEER, JAMES. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN?!” 

“Well yeah, that’s the rational answer, but you were a wolf right then so I didn’t think of that. Anyway. He had some questions but I kept the rest of you out of it. He’s definitely under the impression that your mom’s dying, Remus, and that’s actually where you’re at once a month. He thinks you all know that I’m an animagus, but it’s only me, and what Pads said at dinner was a set up for him to get mauled by a deer, AKA me, so it’s all worked out,” James finished, lamely. 

“And you all walked backed to the castle as humans and decided to lay low for the rest of the year instead of coming to see me, risking your lives every full moon?” Remus almost didn’t dare ask, because he knew the answer before it came, but he was tired and annoyed and wanted to see them squirm, just a little. 

“Er, no. We had the usual sort of night. It’s fine, Moony! Snivellus doesn’t know a thing! And we all needed to let off a little steam, I mean, come on,” Sirius argued. 

“They let you out of the fucking room they locked you in, Padfoot?” 

“Yeah, well, they didn’t let me go into the castle after the slime ball. And I’m banned from classes with the Slytherins for two weeks.” 

“You’re going to fail your OWLs, and so am I if you lot don’t leave soon, because at this rate, Madam Pomfrey will never let me out of here.” It had been nearly an hour, and though Madam Pomfrey came off as stern, Remus knew her threats were empty. If she cared so much, she would have shooed his friends out long before. They left in time for lunch, and after eating his own, Madam Pomfrey informed Remus he was free to go. Remus suspected she had never intended to keep him so late anyway.

“Do you want to talk about it, Remus?” Peter asked with a concerned look over steak and kidney pie.   
“About what, Worm?” Remus knew what, but the answer was no. He was hoping to delay the conversation as long as possible.   
“Y’know…I mean, Sirius told you what Severus said, and…and it wasn’t nice.” 

“Real names, Wormy? It wasn’t nice, but you’re talking like I’m dying. Why is everyone always talking like I’m dying?” His words came a little more aggressively than he’d meant them to. So much for delaying a conversation, Remus was practically inviting the concern now pouring from every crevice of his friends’ expressions. 

“Look. Severus is a fuckwad. I know that. I’m not hurt by the words he used for me, because I’ve heard them all before. I’m comfortable with myself and I have my friends to support me. I’m sorry for snapping at you all. It’s just…tiring, I guess, to have other people seem more hurt than me by things that were meant to hurt me. I don’t want to have to worry about other people and comfort you all every time someone tries to hurt me, does that make sense?” 

“It does, Moony. I’m sorry if I’ve come off patronizing,” James said, as Sirius and Peter nodded in agreement. 

“I want to chop his dick off still, but I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been there, mate,” Sirius said gently. 

“I know you have, Pads. And I’m sorry for the times I’ve done that to you. So now that we’re all agreed, can we please talk about Lily? Because like I said, I’ve got the support of my friends. But Severus and Lily were friends. Who’s she got?” Remus had turned tactical Parent Friend, and that was what the four boys did best; even better than pranking, their schemes for looking out for their friends were Hogwarts famous.

**Author's Note:**

> I've written fanfic but this is the first time I've actually posted anything, so constructive criticism is welcome. Also still learning how to use this site; I've read a lot of fanfiction on here but again, never posted anything. So if the formatting is odd or I should add/change/fix anything, please let me know and maybe also tell me how??? I suck at technology. Thanks :)


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